A Karkat sadstuck
by CupCakeAlice
Summary: rated M for adult reasons! yaoi! suicide and murder ahead if you dont agree please do not read! what will happen to karkat when the worst things come in waves at him? how will he survive after what his morial does to him? after his love dies? REUPLOADED!
1. Chapter 1

All around me are familiar faces  
Worn out places, worn out faces  
Aimless floating on through empty spaces  
Going nowhere, going nowhere  
All my tears are filling up the ocean  
In slow motion, in slow motion  
Hide my head I wanna disappear  
Show them no fear, show them no fear

Karkat curled into a ball under his blankets with tears streaming down his face as the faces of those fallen flow through his mind. Choking back a sob and pulling his arms as close as he could to himself ,as the face of a sober Gamzee laughed at him while holding a decapitated head of Tavros.

The bodies of Kanaya and Nepeta laying in pools of there own blood.

Terezi's face disfigured as she was hung from a tree like her scalemates.

Vriska's decapitated head lying next to Aradia her body slashed open and her intestines wrapped around her throat.

Equius's body lying against a wall with a sword stuck through his throat.

Erdian and Fefari had managed to escape..being royalty they returned to the sea where Gamzee couldn't find them leaving Karkat one of the last alive of there odd little group...

Karkat shuddered and sat up as the last face stayed In his mind... he was the one that found him...with no one else alive Karkat had gone to make sure he was ok .. sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands, he continued to cry

~flashback~

"shit shit shit fucking shit" Karkat cursed as he ran through the halls of his best friends hive. He could vaguely hear honks and that terrified him. He couldn't lose another person this..this.. monster that his morial had become.

The honks grew louder as he ran through more rooms trying to find Sollux. He had to find him he just had to. He couldn't let him die..Hearing Sollux's stupid lisp made him stop dead in his tracks. Turning to where he heard the voice he peered through a crack in the door.

What he saw would haunt him forever. Gamzee had Sollux pinned the wall and was whispering something in his ear. Not caring about his own safety at the moment,Karkat opened the door and watched as Gamzee stopped his whispering to look straight at him.

Sollux seeing him spoke as calmly as he could" kk.. thooth papping ithin't going to work thith time. You need to back out of the room and run" as Gamzee broke into an insane grin" NOW DONT SAY THAT MOTHERfucker lets let bestFREInd in on ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING fun we're gonna be having HONK honk" with that gamzee dropped Sollux and lunged at Karkat, grabbing him by his collar Gamzee lifted him up and laughed as he threw him against a wall. Karkat gave a cry of pain at feeling something in his chest snap from the force of hitting the wall. Sollux dropped to Karkats level with worry etched onto his face."kk..are you ok?" Karkat just coughed up some blood in response.

Sollux stood up and turned to gamzee" YOU BATHARD!" and lunged at him his pisnoics flowing around him in an angry tye dye of red and blue. "hEHEHEhe is the MOTHERFUCKING LITTLE YELLOW BLOOD worried about the MOTHERINGFUCKING mUTaNT?" Gamzee just laughed to himself as Sollux came at him, once he got close enough Gamzee grabbed Sollux by the head and rammed it against the nearest wall" HA HA HA HA did you Really moTHERfuckING tHINK you could MOTHERFUCKING HURT A DECENDANT OF THE motherfucking suBJUGGULATORS?"

Gamzee continued to bash Sollux's head against the wall until he saw yellow flying in all directions.

Dropping the body he looked over and saw Karkat's face nearly white from fear and shock. Grinning he noticed that the mutant red of his own blood mixed with the disgusting yellow of captors blood looked quite good on the smaller troll." the MIRTHFul meshias MOTHERFUCKING want me TO MOTHERFUCK ALL UP and kill you BEST freind. But I MOTHERFUCKING THINK I don't motherfucking need to. HehehahahahahHAHAWHWHAHEHEHHAHAHEHAHHA. Now best friend...hehhehehe" Gamzee lunged foreword and grabbed Karkat by his throat" hehehe best friend "Karkat looked up into Gamzee's eye fear etched onto his face."what..what do you want from me?"Gamzee just grinned and tightened his grip on Karkats throat. "now you don't need to MOTHERfuckING need to worry best friend hehehe" with that Karkat lost his fihgt to breath and stay awake. Gamzee just chuckled when he saw the smaller troll go limp. Now its time for some fun...

when Karkat woke up Gamzee thankfuly but so were his clothes...what? Why are his clothes... wat Gamzee was fucked up but he wasn't that fucked up! Looking down he noticed a few bruises and marks that could have only come from Gamzee... tears started to form in Karkats eyes as the realization hit him Gamzee Makara.. his best friend.. had raped him..wiping away his tears he looked around for his clothes. Once he found them he quickly dressed in what was left, most of his clothes were to shredded to be called clothes..collapsing against a wall Karkat finally cried. He cried long and he stopped and just shook. Looking around the room his breath stopped..Sollux...

Wincing in pain Karkat pulled himself overo where Sollux's body. forcing himself to sit up he pulled Sollux's mangled head into his lap and wiped away some of the blood on his face"Sollux...you stupid...fuck...why did you do that? You should have ran! You could have gotten away and lived!" he started pounding his hands on his Sollux's chest .after doing this for some time he collapsed onto his chest and cried "why..why why why why why!? This isn't fair! Everyone is gone!everyone has left me!even you... why couldn't you stay with me..?"wiping tears from his face he leaned down and gently kissed Sollux" I love you...i'm so sorry...i'm so sorry.."Karkay layed his head back down on sollux chest and cried again.

~end flashback~

And I find it kind of funny  
I find it kind of sad  
The dreams in which I'm dying  
Are the best I've ever had  
I find it hard to tell you  
I find it hard to take  
Surrounded by these bubbles  
It's a very, very  
Bad dream, bad dream

Karkat forced himself up off his bed and slowly made his way to his bathroom. Flipping the lights on he cringed when he looked into the mirror. His face pale and his eyes sunken in with large bags under them. He hadn't showered or eaten in weeks. But if he was going to do what he planned to do he wanted to look somewhat decent.

Turning towards the shower Karkat got the water running on its hottest temperature and proceed to strip his clothes off his scary thin body. Refusing to look at his body he jumped in and started scrubbing and unwilling started reflecting on the dreams 'tch not dreams. He hadn't had dreams since before the fucking game started these were nightmares.' tears started to flow down his face as he sunk down against the shower wall. All of them ended with his friends death..all of them blaming him several with what Gamzee did to him. A number of this of his own brought a small smile to his tired skinny face..he always enjoyed those dreams the best."heheheheheheee" ' its funny..how much I wish Gamzee had killed me when I hit the wall..." if I had died then...then he wouldn't have..."

shutting the water off he stepped into his room and pulled on his normal jumper and pants.

Now freshly clean for the first time in a month. He made his way into the kitchen to get something to around his face just went green. Covering his mouth he left the room and went out to the hallway,breathing deeply to try and not puke. He leaned against a wall with his eyes closed breathing in and out. When the need to empty his already empty stomach past he looked over at photo on the wall and smiled sadly. Reaching over and pulled the photo out o the frame and folded itup putting it in his pocket.

Leaving his house,he locked the door and walked down a dirt path off to the side of his house. He took a deep breath steeling his nerves for what he was going to continued to walk as the the ocean came into view. Walking to the edge of the cliff that separated him from the icy unforgiving waters beneath him. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out the photo and looked at it lovingly.

Sitting down Karkat looked over at the ocean and watched the sun as it started to set. Clenching his fist he looked down and was startled when he felt something crumple in his hands. The picture.. Un-crumpling the photo he stared at it

I'm still searching for a happy ending  
(Quiet, Karkat  
Quiet, Karkat)  
Where've you gone when all my wounds need mending?  
(Wait here for me  
Wait here for me)  
Lost my way and, oh, I need your guidance  
Please don't leave me  
Please don't leave me

It was a picture of him and Crabdad before the game. He remembers the day well. Him and Crabdad had spent the day watching his stupid romcons. Crabdad hated them..but he knew Karkat loved them so he put up with them. smiling softly he stood up and dropped the picture into the sea. He laughed softly and just watched as it dropped.'Crabdad..Sollux...i will be joining you soon...will you be happy to see me? Or will you be angry that I wasn't as strong as everyone believed I was..?"Karkat closed his eyes and took a deep breath 'I love you Sollux. I'm sorry.' with that Karkat stepped off the cliff and watched as the sharp rocks and the cold unforgiving ocean got closer. Smiling softly he opened his eyes and readied himself for impact.

Karkats body hit the ocean hard, but instead of fighting it he went limp as a pain started to form in his chest and opened his eyes under the water watching as black spots started to consume his vision and the pain in his chest started to spread. Letting his last breath out he smiled as he sunk further and further under the ocean and everything went black.

And I find it kind of funny  
I find it kind of sad  
The dreams in which I'm crying  
Are the best I've ever had  
I find it hard to tell you  
I find it hard to take  
Surrounded by these bubbles  
It's a very, very  
Bad dream, bad dream

What Karkat wasn't aware of was that he had an audience. As he continued to sink further down and while still unconscious he wasn't aware that someone had watched him step off the of the cliff. He wasn't aware that that person had swam to him the moment he hit the water and as he blacked out he grabbed him and swam off towards land.


	2. Chapter 2

Looking down at the unconscious boy on your bed you can't help but be sad.. how did such a strong troll resort to this? Just what happened while you immersed in the sea? A few stray tears fall at the thought of someone who used to be so strong... someone you once considered to be a close friend.. had tried to end their own life. Swearing you wipe away the tears and look over out the window to see the sun setting. Resigning yourself to sleeping in a chair for the night you pull one next to the bed so you can be right there next to him once we he wakes up.

Waking before dawn was not one of your favorite things to do, but being so worried over your guest you couldn't help it. Looking at him the feelings of seeing him on the cliff and watching as he falls rushes back and hits you like a brick wall. You burst into tears, covering your mouth so as to not wake him. He didn't need to hear you right now he needed rest. Taking a few deep breaths to calm yourself you vow to find out what happened later.

A small beep rouses you from your thoughts, startling you. Glancing over to your computer you notice a fuchsia color blinking on the screen. Fuck. You forgot to log out of pester chum and now Fefari was messaging you. You dont have time to talk but you cant really ignore her... sighing you move your chair over to your computer and type

**CuttlefishCulle**r now pestering **caligulasAquarium**,

CC: )()()(eeeyyy! Erdian )(ow are you todaay 38)

CA: hey fef...right now isnt a very good time.

CC: :O erdian you arnt useing your typeing quirck! Is it really that serious?

CA: yeah fef it is..

sighing you know you will have to tell her.. there is no way you will be able to take care of a mentaly unsatble karkat on your own...

CA: listen somthing really bad happend and i need your glubin help.

CC: uh oh.. this dosnt sound good.. what happend? Are you ok?

CA: i'm fine fef its about kar... he threw himself off a cliff. If i hadnt been swimming by he would have died.

CC: what? 3:O oh no thats horrible! Is he ok?

CA: yeah he is asleep right now.. has been since last night.

CC: well let me know when he wakes up and if you need anything just ask ok! Glub glub glub 38)

CA:shore fef i krill. I am gonna go now, gotta be ready for when kar wakes up.

CC: )(a)(a shore erdian! Goodluck!

**CuttlefishCulle**r has ceased trolling **caligulasAquarium**,

Sighing again you rest your head on the desk that holds your computer. At least now you will have help when you need it.

Standing up decide to clean up a bit,cant have your hive looking like a dump now can we?as you clean your mind starts to wonder..just what caused Karkat to do it? It had to have been something really horrible. He was to prideful to let something stupid get to him so badly.

Shaking your head, dammit don't let your mind wonder like that you'll just get upset again and Karkat doesn't need to deal with an emotional you when he wakes up...if he wakes up...growling in anger you throw the rag you had been using o clean down on the ground. No! You were not going to think that! Karkat is going to wake up! No ifs! Kar was going to wake up.. he just had to...

I open my eyes and see complete darkness. What is this? Where am I? Did I somehow survive?

slowly a white dot appears far away and I focus on it. Is that the stupid light thing that john was going on about? While contemplating what said light was it started to grow? No it was getting closer. In the blink of an eye the darkness disappeared to be completely replaced with the blinding white light.

Blinking as your eyes adjust to it you notice your no longer just floating. Your standing on solid ground. "where the fuck am I?

"hehe alwayth one for wordth eh KK? Spinning around quickly you spot him. "sollux..." you jump at him and start sobbing into his shirt as he wraps his arms around you. "aw come on KK don't cry." he soothingly pets your hair and holds you close."thooth KK you don't want to wathte what little time I have here with crying do you?" stiffening you reply through your tears" what do you mean what little time? I'm dead arn't I? That means I have forever here right?

Sollux sighs and shakes his head" thatth the thing KK you aren't dead." I gaped"WHAT?! How the fuck aren't I dead! I should be at the bottom of the fucking ocean!" Sollux just grimaced" yeth KK I know. I happened to thee that particular thunt. Everyone did and not one of uth ith very happy about it."

I go silent.." everyone saw me..?" Sollux just nods" they altho thaw thomone thave you're pathetic ath from drowning."... He wraps his arms around me comfortingly and hugs me close" KK look at me pleathe?"

I just bury my face into his chest. He pulls away and lifts my chin "KK" I look up and meat his eyes" you were thaved for a reathon. The perthon that thaved you loveth you he justh dothn realize it yet.. You need to wake up and help him thurvive. Becoath later he is going to do thomthing that will dethroy him on the inthide. He will need you to look after him until he can come to termth with what he will do" I just looked at him confused."what? Who is he? What is he going to do? " Sollux just gives me a sad smile and kisses me" I love you KK but your thill alive and tho ith he. I have theen what happenth and you will love him juth ath much ath he loveth you." still in shock from the kiss I just stare at him. I notice he is starting to disappear.. no no no he cant disappear I just got him back! "Sollux whats happening?!" he just smiles sadly as I trying and grab his shirt and my hand goes right through..."no..no no no sollux please stay with me! Please no I cant lose you again!i love you!please..." I whisper the last part as he completely disappears and I sink to my knees and sob.

I sigh, jegus fuck just how hard is it to undress and clean a troll? I cant even get this stupid jumper off him! I guess I will have to cut if off him.. do I have anything I can put him in when he is clean? I rummage through my wardrobe to try and find that will fit him! I settle for a larger sleep shirt and a pair of sleep pants. Gathering a bowl of warm water a few rags and some sicissers I get to work cutting his clothes off him

I literally stop breathing when I get his shirt off. His gray skin pulled taut against his ribs.. an old scar from one rib to his stomach. I can't believe how thin he is! Did he never eat? Well.. jugeing from what he tried to pull yesterday I guess its not to hard to believe that he was starving himself.

A/N hey guys sorry this chapter was so heartbreaking! At least it was for me. Anyway sorry this chapter didn't have a song in it but I just couldn't find one that seem to fit the situation. I promise thought that if I find a song that fits a chapter I will have it in it :D I noticed a a few views but no one reviewed D: which I understand. But please leave a review I love to hear what you guys think of the story and im always open to ideas from you guys! Anyway hope you enjoyed the chapter!thanks for reading!

SECAND AN! I HAVE REUPLOADED CHAPTERS ONE AND TWO! I WAS NOT VERY HAPPY HOW THEY TURNED OUT SO I RE WROTE THEM! I HOPE YOU LIKED THEM MUCH BETTER!:D


	3. Chapter 3

It's a dark night, its quiet. Opening his eyes Karkat stares at the ceiling.'..fuck..' wincing, he forced himself to sit up and looked around. The room was large but dark. He noticed a desk with a computer on one wall and a large purple wardrobe on the wall opposite. A noise catches his attention...water? Running water? Fuck that means whoever saved his dumbass is awake. This is not good. Panicking he pulls himself up and out of the bed he stumbles over the desk, just barley catching himself on it so he doesn't hit the ground. Hearing the water turn off Karkat swore and made his way for the door. Managing to get out the door as quietly as he could manage he holds onto the wall and stumbles down the hall and out the door.

sitting in the shower Eridan lays his head against the wall and sighs sadly. Perking his head up, what was that? Turning the water off he steps out of the shower and grabs his towel. Covering himself he opens the door to an empty room. His head snaps to the bed"shit shit shit" he throws on a shirt and a pair of pants and runs out of the room. "KAR?!" fanatically looking around he noticed the door open "gog no kar...not again!" Eridan takes off out the door and looks around."kar?! Kar where are you!?

Running toward the beach he starts his search.

His heart pumping loudly in his ears, his breath coming out in short labored breaths.'fuck...this was not my brightest idea..' slowing down he collapses onto his knees into the sand. "fuck...i don't even know why I ran..." he fell down onto the sand, rolling over he looked up at the sky. Karkat didn't notice when it started to rain,or when a shadow blocked the rain from his to thin and shivering body. He only started to notice when a blanket was placed over him. Karkat blinked as his eyes focused in on the shadow above him."...Erid...an..?" Eridan just smiled down at him sadly and picked him up." shoosh Kar. Evverythin is goin to be all right. You just gotta stay awwake for me ok?" Karkat finally realized how tired he was and just stared up at Eridan. Leaning into his arms Karkat blacked out causing Eridan to swear and rush back to his hive.

Running into his hive he placed Karkat on the bed and ran to the bathroom drawing a hot bath. With the bath full he picked up Karkat and gently laid him in the hot water, successfully stopping the shivers.

"come on Kar open those pretty red eyes of yours. Come on please?"gently scooping water onto his body. Now that karkat was in the warm water and he stopped his shivering Eridan realized he should have stripped karkat first. Oh well. Pulling off Karkat's soaked clothing he continues to scoop warm water onto the parts of his body that aren't submerged.

karkat stirred and groaned as he opened his eyes. Looking around he noticed he was once again in a bed. Noticing a gray hand gripping his own he looks over and sees Eridan clutching to him in his sleep. Taking a few minutes to just stare at Eridan, the words Sollux said came back to him causing him to gasp. Eridan loved him?! Is that why Eridan saved him? His gasp awoke the very person he was thinking about. Not letting their eyes meet he looked down at the hand clutching his.

feeling the bed shift he held still as Eridan layed next to him and pulled him flush against him. Stiffening from shock Karkat was speechless. Feeling the arms tighten around his back pulling him closer. He could feel Eridan shaking and little water droplets hit his hair. Looking up he saw the tears falling from Eridan's eyes." you stupid asshole..." th shaking continued as his voice came out cracked" Wwhy? Wwhy wwould you try somthin like that? Wwhy did you leavve? You nearly fuckin died!" the shaking slowly stopped as karkat wrapped his own arms around Eridan and held him close.

A/N im really sorry this chapter is so short! Truth is I just don't really know what to do with it. I know what I wasn't to put but I when I do its so rushed and hard to understand! I need filler bits to get from point A to point B. so I call on you the readers for help. I ask that you read chapters 1,2 and 3 again and think about what you want to see. What you think should happen and what I can add as "filler bits" if you could do this for me I would greatly appreciate it! Thank you!


	4. Chapter 4

Blinking open his eyes Karkat's vision focused in on the chest moving up and down in front of his face. Blinking a few times to clear it up he stared ahead, watching it gently move up and down. Listening to the quiet even breaths of the troll holding him close. Breathing out quietly Karkat lays his head on Eridan's chest and closes his eyes, enjoying the warmth and comfort. Feeling the arms around him tighten and Eridan's chest move. Karkat goes still and looks up, locking eyes with Eridan.

Eridan pulls Karkat up so that they are face to face, never breaking eye contact. " Kar..." Karkat finally breaks eye contact and lowers his eyes causing Eridan to frown. Eridan slipped a finger under Karkat's chin and gently lift it up." Kar look at me please." Karkat jerked his head away from the finger and sat up. Wincing as he sat up, his head started to swim. Holding his head in one hand he gripped the bed tight with the other.

Eridan sat up wrapping an arm around Karkat's shoulder's and moving to sit next to him." Kar? Kar what's wrong?" Karkat brushed his hand off his shoulder and attempted to stand." i-i am f-fine. Just a bit dizzy.." taking a tentative step forward Karkat fell forward, his legs giving out. Eridan reacted quickly, grabbing Karkat's arm and pulled him towards himself. Karkat leaned against Eridan's chest breathing heavily." Kar, be carefull! You're half dead! You can't just up and movve around! You need rest."

Eridan gently pulled Karkat back onto the bed, and propped his head up with a pillow and covered him with a heavy quilt. Karkat's breathing started to even out a bit as he looked up at the ceiling blankly.

Sitting on the edge of the bed Eridan stared at Karkat sadly for a moment." I wwill be right back. Please stay here." walking over to the door, he looked back over to see Karkat still staring at the ceiling.

Quietly closing the door behind him, Eridan made his way to the kitchen to make Karkat a meal. He had gone to long without food. Who knows how long he had gone without before Eridan had found him, from the looks of Karkat it had been a while. Now the question was what to make. He needed something easy on the stomach but would fill him easily. Perhaps some bred and soup would do?

Preparing soup was easy, just heat it up and pour it into a bowl. The bread also easy. He had some fresh loafs in his nutrition holder. Warming up the bread and placing the bowl of soup onto a tray he grabbed some water and also placed it on the sure he had everything Eridan made his way back to the bedroom.


	5. im so sorryAN

To anyone who reads my story's...im so so so sorry but I don't think I will be able to continue writing any of my fan fiction... to much has been going on and I just don't feel like I can anymore..all of my story's are up for adoption if anyone wants them. Again. Im s unbelievably sorry.. I just cant do this anymore..so many family issues have sprouted up and now...


End file.
